"Crying like a tall child"

Sometimes I feel like your brain being different when your small means that you'll think that adults know some secret method to be competent, and somewhere along the line, you'll learn it to, and you won't recognize yourself.

It's scary, until you realize you're not changing much. You still like the toys you did when you were five, read fiction books, watch shows, read fanfiction, and fill your head with characters. You're still creative and didn't suddenly become a boring tax, math, paperwork sort of adult... and that's a detriment.

No one told you the secret adult thing you were supposed to realize. Everyone is super responsible, and they're your age. Able to apply to colleges and do paperwork and leave the house on their own and get a cup of coffee from a coffeeshop without stumbling over their words and needing the next person in line to help them swipe a credit card. And it takes you a while longer after that to realize that you just... fundamentally understand things differently.

So even with your hobbies, your personal hyperfixations, there's not some secret mcguffin you have to find that will make everything work out like it does for everyone else.

No, they're... born with that. You're still something childish...

... well, perhaps we can make the best of it, you and me both.